Dell Richards’ book "Lesbian Lists," “
published in 1990, contains “a look at lesbian culture, history, and
personalities,” through various lists like “19 Lesbian Novelists” and
“14 Cult Films With Lesbian Characters.” These lists are
both entertaining and educational.
One of the lists is entitled “20 Turn-of-the-Century “Ways to
Tell” if a Girl Would Become Gay or if a Woman Was a Lesbian —
according to the Medical Journals of the Day.” The list offers
an opportunity for us to look back on the silly assholes of Medical
History who sought to quell the viral nature of young madiens’ ripe
homosexuality by educating the public regarding how to spot lesbians and
subsequently convert or destroy them. You never know when a lesbian is
in your neighborhood, driving their car down your street, or shopping
next to you at the grocery store.
We have selected 15 of the items from this list to share with you
today and have illustrated these items with helpful photographs. As you
can see, they were clearly completely right about everything and In
parentheses you will find the year in which the cited medical journal
was printed.
15 Turn-of-the-Century “Ways to Tell” if a Girl Would Become Gay or if a Woman Was a Lesbian — According to the Medical Journals of the Day
1. Smokes cigarettes in public. (1890)
confirmed lesbian julie goldman smoking cigarettes at poolside
2. Has a capacity for athletics and an incapacity for needlework and other domestic occupations. (1890)
natasha kai, confirmed lesbian with athletic capacities, screams “I hate needlepoint” on a soccer field
3. “Tomboy Habits” (1895)
autostraddle editor-in-chief riese’s girlfriend (a confirmed homosexual) participating in carpentry, a certified tomboy habit
4. Dresses in Boys’ Clothing (1895)
kim
stolz, confirmed lesbian, wearing boys’ clothing on a reality
television program. after the program, she continued to wear boys’
clothing in other contexts while romancing women of the same sex.
5. Abandons Dolls and Girlfriends for Marbles and Masculine Games (1895)
although
these women may not be have been lesbians before this photograph was
captured, this riveting game of marbles will surely transform them into
lesbians
6. Prefers the Laboratory to the Nursery (1900)
fictional
confirmed lesbian lexy is a doctor on the television program “Lip
Service,” which requires the laboratory. furthermore, she does not have
children or a nursery.
7. Goes to Bars (1900)
“gimme
sugar” was a reality television program about lesbians who went to bars
and also worked in bars, and yelled at each other.
8. Is Anti-Social (1900)
we are confident that there is a lesbian hiding behind this book
9. Has a firmness to her walk, a long step, and a rather heavy timbre to her voice. (1900)
kd lang, actual lesbian, records musical cds featuring her timbered voice
++
10. Talks loud and uses slang. (1900)
in this picture, confirmed lesbian sandra bernhard is swearing loudly using slang, probably slang for a vagina
11. Has no breasts to speak of (1900)
shane, confirmed lesbian, is not speaking of her breasts
12. Is square-shouldered and solid (1900)
skyler cooper has shoulders for days, likes girls
13. Has a strong, self-assured look in her eye (1910)
jessica clark, confirmed lesbian, is seducing you with her eyeballs
lesbian jenny shimizu seduced angelina jolie with these eyeballs
14. Shows mental arrogance and is abnormally deficient in natural female shyness (1910)
this photograph is self-explanatory
15. Has intellectual attributes usually associated with men – an acuteness of comprehension and lucid objectivity (1910)
confirmed lesbian rachel maddow hosts an acute and lucid television program
In conclusion, it would seem that the doctors of the 19th century
were 100% correct when they made these scientific determinations. I wish
you all luck in identifying and executing lesbians in your neighborhood
as you see fit.
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