Below is a Warri boy’s letter to President Jonathan on the ASUU
Strike. It is in pidgin English so get ready for some laugh although the
writer makes some good points. Anyway, we’ll let you be the judge.
Oga Presido
First of all I hail ooo! I no say u no dey cary last. You be confirm
ijaw pikin. As dat ur middle name ‘Ebele’ mean ‘mercy’ so make u pity ur
children settle their lecturers naa!
The matter neva tire u? Suppose say ur pikin wey u born for belle
follow us dey house, shey you for never answer we lecturers them? Una
say make we bone kidnapping, militant things and all the bad bad things
dem go enter school, now na una com dey f**k up. All the things wε̲γ we
lecturers don teash us for klass we don forget finish. Last last, na una
go still call us “half-baked”, “half-roasted”, abi na “half-fried”. Na
una sabi!
Dem talk say person no fit run pass him shadow. We dey hea dey watch
you. Na ur time be dis use am well, but we go jam for 2015. U don forget
say youths na we dey vote pass abi? Na we sef dey snatch ballot box,
dey do rally and som kain kukere things dem wey una dey take win
election. U go still nid our help o. That time we sef go go strike.
Shebi u sabi waka witout shoe, u go carry ur leg do ur rally. No thug
for u. We no go snatch ballot make you for win. If any maga try am we go
fall hin hand.
So bro Jona, na ur opportunity be dis o make u code this stubborn
ASUU pipu make dem cary their wahala enta class. We no say na rush them
go begin rush us but we no send. All join. Na who get leg dey kuku pass
exam no be who read. Na still who get leg dey get beta work. Na Naija we
dey. So make u do something because our mate dem for private university
don graj finish. We don tire to dey beef them. If u no shake bodi fast
make u no forget say university of militancy still dey admit dey neva
even release 2nd batch ooo!
Abeg try grit maale Patience well well (i thank baba Godee say she
and gran papa Soyinka don settle that their quarrel), greet all those
bad belle advisers wey u get too, God pass them! Uncle Amaechi still dey
Niger-delta here o, hin don tire for ur mata. I dey grit u for am too.
I go stop for here. E go be na.
Naija student for life!
Na ur waffi boy.
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