Despite
all of the recent hystéria over young women ruining their lives by
delaying marriage and "hooking up," a new survey suggests what most
people probably already know -- women (and men) still value an emotional
connection when it comes to their séx lives.
A
recent Duréx survey of 2,000 men and women (all of whom were at least
25 years old) found that 87 percent of women reported that their
"hottest séx" was with a partner who they trusted and had a prior
relationship with (a.k.a. not a random one-night stand with a stranger).
The vast majority of men (95 percent) also agreed that an emotional
connection makes a séxual experience more satisfying, and both genders
said they cared more about satisfying their partner than themselves.
This
suggests that women -- and men -- are ultimately looking for more than a
hookup with a stranger. The survey doesn't indicate whether these hot
séxual experiences took place in the context of serious relationships or
in the contéxt of casual relationships that still involved trust, but
it means we probably don't need to be wringing our hands over the
romantic priorities of people in their 20s and 30s.
In
her book "The End Of Men," journalist Hanna Rosin argued that early-20s
hookup culture actually benefits women in the long run and does not
precludé them from finding a long-term, emotionally satisfying
relationship later on. "Ultimately, the desire for a deeper human
connection always wins out, for both men and women," she wrote in an
excerpt printed in The Atlantic in September 2012. "Their
hookup years are likely to end up as a series of photographs, buried
somewhere on their Facebook page, that they do or don’t share with their
husband -- a memory that they recall fondly or sourly, but that hardly
defines them."
It
seems that if women and men are searching for something deeper and more
satisfying (both physically and emotionally) than a series of casual
hookups, they will find it eventually.
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